Week Ten: Saturday

I managed to face a fear that has been haunting me for a while now. I ran down the sidewalk.

My main fear is that I know that people will be staring at me and possibly mocking me and throwing stuff at me from their car. But if I am going to run a marathon, there are going to be a whole heap of people standing along side the road and I need to start getting used to being on display.

One person did yell something but I cannot be sure if it was at me, a passenger, or a cell phone. Otherwise it went pretty well. I always hate the awkward interaction with drivers at cross streets and cross walks that street running ends up forcing. Are they going to stop? Should I run? If they keep going the at the same rate and I do too I can run behind them, but will they think that I am running in front of them and slam on their breaks? Did they mistake the hands up “Thanks for stopping wave” as the “I am my own traffic cop and you should stop right now?”

This was a real accomplishment. I managed to run 6 miles in 65 minutes. I actually think it was a little more than 6 miles. I ran the first 4 and extra and then walked/ran the last 2. Since my running route left me 2 miles from home I timed my trip back to see how long the 8 mile route would take me. A little more than 8 miles took me about 109 minutes.

Week Ten: Thursday

Since Thursday was my 4 year wedding anniversary, I took a mulligan on running. I actually was looking forward to using the hotel treadmill to run after work, but it was logistically not possible with our dinner plans. We ended up staying at Graves downtown and having dinner at Ruth Chris.
Not only did I not run, but I broke my no drinking pledge as well. When one is eating an opulent meal it is required that one order a scotch with the meal to appear sophisticated. Also, one really wanted a drink and one’s wife was saying that it was ok and that one should not feel guilty about it because it was a special occasion. All in all it was a very nice night.

4 years down, 50 more to go give or take a couple.

Week Ten: Wednesday

I wish I had more to write about, but these last couple runs have been uneventful. Lots of couples on bikes. Not the evil kind of bikes. The leisurely kind. They all kind of look at me funny but I know the guys, who are around my age or a little younger, are thinking “I may have put on a few and that is why she guilted me out here to ride around the neighborhood, but at least I ain’t as bad ad that guy.” The wives are thinking “At least he ain’t as bad as that guy.”

I have really been hoping to see the Sasquatch jogger again so I can tell his tale. If I have another boring post lined up I will explain his legend.

Managed to run for 27 minutes which was about 2.6 miles, walk for 3 minutes then run the rest of the 4 miles which ended up taking 43 minutes.

Although I did go the 4 miles, I really want to be able to run the full distance on these down days.

Week Ten: Monday

The Fat Guy announcement that is so shocking that most will not believe it.

I have sworn off alcohol until after the race. That is three months of booze free living.

This will not be really that difficult coming up because of the new one on the way. At least I thought. Mrs. Fat Guy picked me up from the bus stop and told me that our neighbor had offered us Saints tickets. Honestly I cannot think of another event that I associate with getting drunk more than a Saints game. I have spent more than a couple nights at that stadium drinking to ridiculous excess. I managed to maintain my composure and resist the urge. I guess that isn’t that difficult when you are with your pregnant wife, but still.

I may have solved the mystery of the 5 miles in 56 minutes. My running pace must have increased. I did 3 miles today, but I mixed in like 15 minutes of walking and did it in 36 minutes. That was around my 3 mile pace when I ran the entire distance. This means that I have drastically increased my pace inadvertently and I cannot sustain the pace and have to walk earlier as a result. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter how long I walk or run if I am going the same amount of distance in the same amount of time. However, I really want to run for as long as possible to start the marathon so I can get as much of the course behind me as quickly as possible. I am going to have to experiment with pacing a little bit. I was really disappointed in myself when I have run 4 miles in the past and now can only run 2.

Week Nine: Saturday

After 9 weeks of this I thought I had encountered every type of path dweller – Stroller Family, Stroller Family with kids on bikes, Rollerbladers, other runners, walkers including makeout walkers and not walking for leisure walkers and of course the hated enemy.

I encountered a new path dweller on two separate occasions today and it is really more confusing to me than anything else. Roller Cross Country skiers. Why on God’s green earth would one strap skis with wheels on them and flail down a path in the middle of summer? We have winter like 10 months out of the year when you can cross country ski.

The act of keeping yourself moving forward requires you to practically dominate the path which is why I welcome the RCCers into the fold. Why? Because it must be such a colossal pain in the ass to a bicyclist wanting to speed by them. Me I can just run off the path. Not Lance wannabe. Scream “On your left” all you want. They will not be able to make any sudden movements.

Today’s run was a little confusing. I travelled what I thought was 5 miles in 56 minutes. This would be a great time but I am starting to question that it was 5 miles. I ran for what I think was a couple miles and then walked for 10 minutes than ran and then walked for like 6 minutes and then ran and then walked. Considering the amount of walking I did, I either have increased my pace or I didn’t go 5 miles. Either way I couldn’t run the whole route, but I am going to have to train to run as far as possible and then take a break and run some more. These Saturdays will probably be how I train for the actual marathon and the other days will be attempting to run the complete distance.

Week Nine: Thursday

Quick post. They always are when I fail.

Only made it what I think was about 2.5 miles before I was just too exhausted. Partly due to the heat. I also thought there was a house fire and I wanted to walk, not run, by that for maximum gawking time. There was a fire, but it was just out of my line of sight.

I ran the 2.5 in 26 minutes and then walked the rest of the 3 plus a little extra in 36 minutes. At least the pace was quicker.

Week Nine: Wednesday

Since it has been 4 weeks since the last weight posting I owe you folks an update. If I owe you an update, you owe me a mental drum roll.

(begin mental drum roll now….)

228 lbs. You looked ahead. Shame on you.

That is 5 pounds dropped since the last weight post a month ago and a total of 13 dropped.

I am a little disappointed because I really have been trying to adjust what I have been eating. However, it is really not all that surprising because the first 4 weeks I went from little physical activity to some physical activity. The last 4 weeks I have stepped it up according to the program, but it still wasn’t that much considering the weight I need to lose.

I am going to stick to the salads and soups, but instead of Buffalo Chicken Salads I will need to try more dinner salads and I really need to start having more than coffee for breakfast. If I can get used to some fruit for breakfast and a light lunch and dinner I should see a much sharper weight loss when I mix it with the program of running 3 miles 2 days a week plus and increasingly longer amount of running on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

I actually ran 4 miles today. That seriously blows my mind. I know that I am going to struggle down the line when I need to increase my distance by a mile every Wednesday and Saturday, but I am really going to see if I can keep up.

I did the 4 miles in 44 minutes and then I mowed the lawn as a cool down. If I had had the patience I could map the distance I walked mowing my lawn. That really sounds like a waste of time.

Week Nine: Monday

I was really motivated to run since I felt guilty for not running on Father’s Day with my poor excuse that it was Father’s Day considering I am close to Fatherhood but not quite there yet.

The one good thing about not running for time is that I am not constantly tempted to look at my watch and then get discouraged when I do. That being said, I still know the distance that I have to go. I have adapted the route to make a 3 mile course that gives me the option of walking another mile after the run. I want to make sure to have a cool down session afterwards and it also gives me a chance to see how fast I walk so I can get an idea of pacing.

I ran the 3 miles, which felt really good. Not the running part. That sucked. The accomplishment part was the good part. I also timed the run and it took 31.5 minutes. That is pretty close to 10 minute miles, which if I haven’t mentioned before, is my goal only because it is easily divided into 60. So are 2, 3, 5, 6 and 12, but if you think that I could even run a mile in 6 minutes you are f’n crazy. 12 is my fall back speed. I then walked a cool down mile and that took me roughly 19 minutes. I say roughly because I was panting in my living room at 51.5 minutes and I have been measuring distance starting from the railroad tracks which are about a minute away.

Let’s play a little math game:
4 miles in 50 minutes = 12.5 minute miles
26.2 mile marathon X 12.5 minute miles = 327.5 minutes for marathon
327.5 minutes/ 60 minute (=1 hour) = 5.45833 hours
.45833 * 60 = 27.49998 minutes

So, I will be able to run the TCM in 5:27 minutes.

I am going to officially stop training. I even have 45 minutes to stop for a beer along the route!

Week Eight: Saturday

It’s Fathers Day and although I feel slightly guilty about it and I would feel better if I ran, I am not doing so today. This marks the end of the 10-week pre-training program. The next 16 weeks are for people who are in shape, which I am very far from. However, I only missed 2 days of the pre-training and although it is going to be a challenge, I am going to try to follow it pretty strictly. I may end up not being able to increase my miles run at the rate that the training program calls for, but some days I will travel the distance required a combination of running and walking. I may also at times run and then walk, but only count the miles I ran until I reach that day’s goal. Which I do will depend on my time and physical condition.

I also will be running some races mixed in during this part as well, which will add a whole new element to this. I just hope that the audience isn't comprised of smoking teenagers.

As you can see, this incident has really gotten to me. I have a feeling that if I need backup the deer have my back.

Week Eight: Thursday

On the Saturday=Thursday run I was screamed at by some punk teenagers coming back from the beach after running in front of their car on the walking trail. I have no idea what they said, but I assumed the worst and proceeded to high tail it after them, middle fingers blazing. I am sure this just delighted them, the image of a fat guy with a red face sprinting after an automobile. I am sure they were even more amused when my ipod fell out of its holder and I had to go back and pick it up.

I only feel slightly bad for, after noticing that they were smoking, asked God to give them cancer. I guess that isn’t the wisest thing to do considering my long smoking career. Oh, and the asking God to smite people is also kind of a no-no.

Despite this little incident, I ran 25 minutes. Even though it was late in the day it was pretty difficult due to the heat.

Week Eight: Wednesday

Short night running, short post. Ran Wednesday on Thursday due to weather. This constantly being behind sucks and leads to 3 days in a row of running, which I believe the program is specifically trying to avoid. Oh well.

Ran 20 minutes, less than 2 miles. It looks like the 10 minute mile thing might be difficult to achieve.

Week Eight: Monday

Well, I have hit a new self-esteem low.

I was mocked by a deer. Yes a doe, a deer, a female deer.

Let me explain the situation before you call the police and alert them to the blog written by a paranoid schizophrenic.

I was running my usual route and was surprised not only that there was no group of in shape high school kids playing full contact Frisbee but that there was a loan deer standing in the field. The deer itself did not surprise me, as there is a whatever-you-call-a-large-pack-of-deer in the park. It was that the deer just stood there watching me lumber towards it. I know it is a city deer, but this is what I imagined it (I am guessing it was a female due to the absence of horns, but not being a hunter, and most of my experience with deer is in jerky form, I do not want to state for fact it was female) was thinking:

“What the hell is that hairless bear doing? I don’t need to worry about him. Hell, when he gets close, I will actually walk towards him before running away with little effort and travel further in 6 seconds than that oaf can travel in 2 minutes.”

I am telling you that deer is with his deer buddies making fun of me. It watched me from like 100 to 40 feet away and then it actually walked towards me before running off.

I don’t blame it though. I will just have to try that much harder to impress it.

Ran my 25 minutes with not much trouble. Now that stopping is not really an option due to the shame I will go through on the blog, the real challenge is going to be next week.

Week Seven: Saturday

A public service announcement from the fat guy that is gonna run a marathon:

You may have heard tales of runners running in regulars t-shirts and their nipples bleeding due to chafing. Maybe you have thought to yourself “That is just an urban legend like the story about the people who brought home the dog from Mexico and it turned out to be a rat”

Well fictitious blog reader, I am telling you first hand that bloody nipples are a very real and serious problem.

First off, I have heard first hand from my friend Nate that during a half marathon he looked down to see red streaks down his chest. Chilling visual, I know.

Today I ran my Saturday=Sunday run and nearly experienced the horror firsthand.

Typically I wear and oversized shirt that is so big that it barely touches my chest. Today however I decided that I would just wear the undershirt that I was wearing and head out. Big mistake.

About 20 minutes into the run I noticed a slight irritation. By the 35 minute mark it was as if I had sandpapered my left nipple. Surprisingly, the right nipple was fine. Props to my right nipple for being so resilient. I almost took off my shirt, however I don’t know if I could handle the look of utter horror if I ran past someone. When no one was around I was putting my hand up my shirt to protect the poor little guy. I guess I should have been more worried that I was running around the neighborhood feeling myself up than without a shirt on. I may end up having to register as a sex offender because of all this.

Long story short, although it didn’t bleed it was damn close. Vegetables are good raw. Eddie Murphy is good IN Raw. Nipples are not good raw. Learn from my mistakes and wear appropriate clothing.

And that’s one to grow on, the more you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Today’s run is giving me serious hope that I can pull this off. I ran my 40 minutes and I am almost positive that it was over 3 miles. Hell, during the last 2 minutes I was sprinting to make sure that it was at least 3 miles. My version of sprinting is probably a little pathetic but it was the effort that counts.

Next week I actually only have to run 30 minutes on Sat. 25 minutes on Monday and Thursday and 20 minutes on Wed. Although this is a little step back I am not going to argue with the program.

Week Seven: Thursday

There is only one thing that can fight the power of gangsta’ runnin’.

The sun and the rain.

That is technically two things so we will lump them both under the Mother Nature category.

The rain bested me on Thursday. I would have toughened up and run in the rain if I hadn’t spent $100 on shoes. OK, $90 on shoes and $10 on fancy running socks. Anyway, I was not about to ruin my investment being a hero and as the song goes, gotta blame it on sumthin’, gotta blame it on sumthin’; Blame it on the Raaaaaiiiin (As sung by the fellas who sang in place of Rob and Fab.)

So another time shift is going on. Thursday is Saturday and I needed to run 25 minutes. I decided to go at noon which is where the sun comes in. The heat is another element that I will need to start dealing with. When it is hot and I am in direct sun running is just even more exhausting which is not really that surprising.

I got through my 25. Tomorrow is Saturday/Sunday and is a 40 minute day. No more of this running at noon garbage. Eventually I will not have a choice and I will deal with it then.

Week Seven: Wednesday

Thanks to Turkey Bait (AKA Leslie. I debated on Turkey Feed but ultimately felt that Turkey Bait had a better ring to it. For an explanation of what I am talking about, read some of the prior entries.) my eyes have been opened to a whole new way of running.

She called me last week to tell me about the benefits of running to Gangsta rap. She could not have been more right.

I made a playlist with all the songs of the Hip/Hop and Rap, Rap and the one Gangsta song and set the iPod to random. When the first song’s chorus was “Blow it out your @$$” I knew that this was going to bring things to a whole new level.

There were two real benefits to Gangsta runnin’. The first is that it is the perfect juxtaposition to the suburban wonderland I am running through. I run by lake homes in suburbia and through a regional park. The only gang activity I saw was two rival crews throwin’ down some seriously lethal extreme Frisbee beat downs. The second wonderful part of it is that you can run to the beat of the song. I was getting seriously hot and winded and then Snoop comes in and saves the day with “Lodi Dodi”. It was exactly what I needed at the exact perfect time.

The one thing that I was unprepared for is that I am now taking sides in battles that I know nothing about. What do I think of Ja Rule you ask? Let me tell you. Don’t like him much. He should not have started a battle. Why am I taking such a strong stance against Ja Rule? Well, because one of the last songs that I listened to was by Eminem/D10/50 Cent and it was catchy and it spent the whole song explaining why Ja Rule should not have started the fight and how he sucks. I tend to believe catchy songs. Maybe if Ja Rule could communicate his side to me in a catchier song than I would switch my alliance to him. Until then, I am on 50’s side. Take that, Jeffery.

I ran 30 minutes with only a little problem in the middle. I am telling you that this is going to be the way to go. I actually kept running for about a minute and a half after the 30 minutes because that awesome Wu-Tang song from the beginning of Knocked Up came on. I could have kept going but I don’t want to get ahead of the program. I almost ran 3 miles though. I was way ahead of my previous pace because my gangsta pace was blindin’ sucka BCs (Bicyclists).

I need to immediately invest in the entire Wu-Tang and MC Chris catalog.

Week Seven: Monday

Well, now that I have course corrected (A term that will only make sense to true Lost nerds) I seem to be back into the swing of things. I have found that between the 8 and 15 minute marks the urge to stop is really intense. One I get through that stage I am cool. It is less of a problem with my repertory system or body and more a problem with my interest in doing something that is just exhausting. After that point I seem to be fine. My guess is that I will hit those points multiple times during a very long run. I made my 25 minutes. Wednesday is a 30 minute day which equals a whole episode of your favorite sitcom with commercials. Enjoy your Three and a Half Men America.

Week Six: Saturday

So apparently if you start messing with the space/time continuum it makes running more difficult. I was only able to run 12.5 minutes, or half the time I was supposed to. I need to get back on schedule because when I start messing with it I start making excuses for myself. I won’t bore you with the internal dialog.